The Changes of Seasons

I love the changes of seasons.  I especially love the change from Summer to Fall.  I love the colors, how they change from greens to brown, reds, and yellows, and especially the fresh new cool in the air.  I get excited at first hints of Autumn.  I'll notice a smell in the breeze that signifies fall and it brings nostalgic memories.  I always love the smell of household heaters firing up for the first time in months, the smell of burnt dust.  I've been praying that more than the season will change this year.  I pray that my heart will change.  I don't feel far from God, but I've let my heart be filled with things that aren't close to God.  Being engulfed in an unhappy, sinful lifestyle doesn't happen all at once.  A Godless life is something that creeps in without the person noticing any difference.  I'm not by any means unhappy; there are things happening in my life that I couldn't imagine being any better (good job, nice car, great ministries, great relationships with real friends where real things are talked about).  But having all the things that make you "happy" and not having God, is an unhappy life.  God is definitely present in close to all areas of my life, but is he precedent?  In some, yes.  In others, no.  I want God to lead the pack of all the priorities and people in my life.  This is not a matter of me moving from a Godless life to a Godly life; it's a matter of me moving from a God-present life to a God-consumed life.  My God is a consuming fire.  My God is worthy of my most devout affection.  I'm learning more and more that God is not found in knowledge and all the right words.  God is found in my complete reliance on Him.  I think thats faith, me knowing that I have no idea and relying on God for all the answers.  I long to be dependent on God for all things.  Dependency leads to intimacy, and there's not anything I want more in this life than to know Christ and him crucified.  His blood that makes me pretty in the Father's eyes.  His purity that brings acceptance that, otherwise, I could never deserve.